I grew up in a traditional Jewish family in Crown Heights. I love my mother, my father and my family. I had always felt different and was the subject of relentless bullying by other boys for “seeming” gay. When I was 17 I confided to a friend that I was attracted to men and not sexually attracted to women at all. When it came out, I was thrown out of yeshiva (Jewish religious school). For the longest time I felt so alone because I truly believed that I was the only person battling this secret war. My older siblings were getting married and having kids, and all I ever wanted was to be a part of the beautiful world my parents had raised me in. My dream was to marry a woman and live the life my family hoped and dreamed for me. I would never have chosen to be gay; I could not imagine anyone growing up in the Orthodox world who would choose to be someone who doesn’t fit into the values and norms of everyone around them.

So do I think that I was “born gay”? I don’t know and I am not sure how important that is. What is important is that it certainly is not something that I chose or had anything to do with. And I felt immense pressure to somehow change who I was.

After much time and research I found a well-known organisation that “specialised” in reparative therapy. This organisation had endorsements from a wide range of rabbis and I was sure that it was the answer to all my problems. The organisation’s executive director told me that he believes everyone can change if they simply put in the hard work. I would have done anything to change, and this message was just the hope I was looking for. I spent two years attending every group meeting, weekend, and individual life coaching sessions they offered. My parents and I paid thousands of dollars. Every day, every session, I was working and waiting to feel a shift in my desires or experience authentic change. That moment never came. I didn’t change, I never developed any sexual desire for women, and never stopped being attracted to men. Instead, I only felt more and more helpless because I wasn’t changing. The organisation and its staff taught us that change only comes to those who truly want it and are willing to put in the work. So if I wasn’t changing, I was seen as someone who either really didn’t sincerely want it, or would not put in the necessary work. In other words, there was no one to blame but myself.

The worst part of my experience in reparative therapy came at the end. In a locked office, alone with my unlicensed ‘life coach’, who said he was an ‘ex-gay man’ I was told to undress, stand in front of the counsellor and do things too graphic to describe in this article. I was extremely uncomfortable, but he said that I must do this for the sake of changing and that if I didn’t remove my clothing I wouldn’t be doing the work it takes to achieve change. I would do anything to change, and so I did what he asked me to do. It was probably the most traumatising experience of my life.

I tried to tell people what happened, but the organisation said it wasn’t true and refused to fire the life coach. But I have spoken to other men who all underwent the same experience. And I can only imagine how many other young men who this has happened to who have not yet come forward. One of the most frustrating aspects was that because this coach is not licensed by any professional board, he is unaccountable to any licensing committee. Since I was over eighteen and agreed to this kind of therapy, I am told that I have no legal recourse. But I do have my voice! Yet, even after coming forward with what happened, nothing has changed. I often hear that this therapy has helped people, that it is wonderful, but I wonder, how helpful can an organisation be when it causes great suffering and pain to many who come to them for hope.

The recent Torah Declaration, signed by so many rabbis, only serves to perpetuate the notion that all homosexuals in the Orthodox community must change in reparative therapy. Unlike the helpful recent RCA statement on welcoming homosexuals or the “Statement of Principles” written and signed by over 200 responsible rabbis, the Torah Declaration does not demand that therapists must be board licensed. Unlike these other statements, it does not allow those for whom this kind of therapy is harmful or not working to seek other options. It kills me that this Torah Declaration will be used by parents to force their children into therapies that may be harmful to them. It frightens me that this Torah Declaration says that “change is mandated by the Torah,” when I know personally that change therapy has not worked and was so harmful for me. It hurts me to know that I am now being blamed by these rabbis and therapists for this failed therapy.

It confuses me that this Torah Declaration contains so many flawed arguments. Saying that God would never make a gay person unable to change is simplistic, inconsistent and flat-out wrong. If someone gets into an accident we would never say that we know he can be “cured” simply because his affliction is not genetic and he wasn’t born this way. We would never tell a deaf person (born deaf or not) that his ‘test’ is to find a way to hear again, so that he can be observe the positive commandment of hearing the shofar (horn) in the synagogue at new year? Yet the Torah Declaration uses all of these arguments to make gay people feel that their ‘test’ from God in life is to change their sexuality, simply because it may not be genetic and God would never make it unchangeable. This is the worst kind of rationalised homophobia.

I know first hand how this kind of societal bullying can lead to self-harm and suicide. I know of too many young men who have been pressured to stay in these kinds of therapies only to be tormented to point of taking their own lives. No one can bring these boys back. However, there are many Orthodox rabbis, religious therapists and organisations that remind us we are loved and that we belong. In the darkness of my days, a grass roots support community organisation in New York called JQY saved my life. JQY is a group of over five hundred young Jews who grew up in the religious community. Their goal is to combat shame, bullying and ostracising, while making families, religious schools and communities safe and welcoming to their gay members. They do not advocate for any change in religious law, but rather assert that one can believe that certain behaviours are technically prohibited and still be a happy, healthy and fulfilled person.

In JQY the right path for an individual is unique for each person. There are some members of JQY who are trying to change their orientation and many like me, who have tried for years and have discovered that it is not possible for them. We are all just trying to be the best that we can be. We learn from each other and are there for each other because we know how hard it is to be gay in a religious family. JQY is my logical family. We have support meetings, crisis resources, festival get togethers and sabbath meals where we know it is safe to be ourselves.

I now have a sense of pride about who I am. However, I understand the concept of “pride” as combating the years of self-shame and instead promoting a sense of personal self worth. Pride is not a celebration of any personal behaviour or desire. Nowhere in my story do I ever mention prohibited behaviours. I know that “being gay” does not express anything about personal intimate behaviour; it merely expresses an orientation. I adhere to the religious concepts of modesty, which demands that intimate behaviour stays private and discrete, and has no place in the public forum. In fact I do not know any gay person from a religious background who doesn’t believe the same way.

This is not an appeal to change religious law or anyone’s political views. This is not a push for gay marriage or any legitimising of gay marriage within the orthodox Jewish community. I am simply asking my community not to judge and not to pressure someone to participate in a program or therapy which causes harm. Just because someone is honest about being gay, does not mean that he engages in anything wrong. No one should feel silenced or asked to lie about who they are. Abuse and cruelty should never be tolerated or ignored. A little humility goes a long way. Sometimes the kindest and most thoughtful response when it comes to very difficult situations is, “I don’t know, but I’m here for you because you are part of my family and community.”

This comment has been adapted from an article first published in the Jewish Free Press by the author. Chaim blogs at http://gottagivemhope.blogspot.com/ and tweets at @chaim89

PinkNews.co.uk’s founder Benjamin Cohen recently recorded an It Gets Better Video to explain that it gets better to be Jewish and Gay and that gay cures don’t work.

In her column in the Daily Express, she questions the lack of availability of therapy for “gays who do not want to be gay”.

Widdecombe wrote about the case of Lesley Pilkington, who was found guilty of malpractice by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy last year.

She argues that if a gay person wants to change their sexuality, professional help should be available to them, despite a lack of scientific evidence for it working.

She wrote: “When I was training as a Samaritan in the Eighties the first principle was never to dismiss another’s priorities.

“If a man rang in and said he was gay we should never say, “Oh, that doesn’t matter, it’s OK to be gay,” if he took the opposite view.”

The former minister is the second high-profile voice this week to back ‘reparative therapy’ in the face of general medical opinion against it.

Lord Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, is backing Lesley Pilkington’s appeal.

He wrote to the BACP, which is hearing the appeal, with other bishops to say that such ‘gay cure’ attempts do not “produce harm despite the Royal College of Psychiatrists and others maintaining the contrary”.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists’ official position on the issue says: “There is no sound scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed. Furthermore, so-called treatments of homosexuality create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination flourish.”

Widdecombe says the “homosexual lobby” has directed particular attention to Pilkington’s religion.

The retired minister herself famously converted to Catholicism, leaving the Church of England in favour of a denomination which, she said, “doesn’t care if something is unpopular”.

Drawing a comparison with the case of the Muslim men found guilty of distributing material intended to stir up anti-gay hatred, she queries why Christians, who make up 72% of the British population, are “targeted by gay activists” more frequently than Muslims, who make up 3%.

Widdecombe did not support ParliOut, the first LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) network for the Parliamentary staff, MPs and Lords in 2010.

She said: “No I do not. MPs are supposed to be there to help other people not to go whingeing on their own behalf. I cannot understand the modern day emphasis and fascination and obsession with people’s private lives.

She added: “We have had gay MPs since we’ve had MPs…we’ve had gay everythings. It is not an issue and what we are doing now is encouraging your profession to go into everybody’s private lives.”

Widdecombe’s comments add to an ongoing public debate about ‘gay cure’ practices.

Last week, the New York-based rabbi who heads Amsterdam’s Orthodox Ashkenazi community had said he feared for his life after he was suspended for signing a ‘gay cure’ declaration.

One of the signatories to the Torah declaration signed by Rabbi Aryeh Ralbag is Arthur Goldberg, a co-director of JONAH.

JONAH, Jews Offering New Alternatives for Healing (formerly Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality), was in the news this month after JFS, a Jewish school in London, showed students a slide displaying its logo during a discussion on homosexuality.

The school strongly denied promoting the ex-gay group as an option for possibly gay students to explore.

The National AIDS Trust said the implications of hepatitis C and HIV co-infection on health can be severe, with liver disease one of the major causes of serious illness and fatality in HIV-positive people.

According to the Trust’s report, 7% of HIV positive gay men are co-infected with hepatitis C. In most cases, no symptoms are experienced after infection.

Generally, about 25% of people infected with hepatitis C clear the virus naturally from their blood during acute infection but three quarters will go on to develop chronic hepatitis C, which targets the liver.

And of those who successfully clear hepatitis C through treatment, a significant percentage are re-infected within a short time.

The charity said infections among gay men are largely due to sexual risk factors, thought to include unprotected anal sex, fisting, use of sex toys, group sex and said drug use may also have a role.

The report criticises the lack of an explicit national strategic approach to tackling this issue and says the stigma around hepatitis C in the gay community and amongst people with HIV hampers prevention efforts and harms gay men.

Deborah Jack, Chief Executive of NAT, said: “The rate of HIV-positive gay men co-infected with hepatitis C in the UK is too high. It is crucial for this to be addressed as a strategic priority in gay men’s health promotion.

“It is vitally important that, as recommended, all people diagnosed with HIV are annually screened for hepatitis C infection and this should be made a requirement in the commissioning of all relevant services (in a recent audit only 66% had had an annual test). Clinics and health promoters need to provide intensive advice and support to gay men at significant risk of hepatitis C transmission. To that end, consensus is urgently needed on the key risk factors for sexual transmission so clear and appropriate recommendations can then be made.

“We also strongly urge gay men not to rely on their sexual partners’ disclosure of their HIV or hepatitis C status as a high proportion are unaware they are infected, which is certainly fuelling onward transmission. And even when diagnosed, disclosure can be difficult – we need to start challenging hepatitis C stigma as well as HIV stigma – both are unfair, ill-informed and destructive.”

Symptoms which do occur in the initial ‘acute’ stage of hepatitis C, which lasts for about six months after infection, include diarrhoea, nausea and jaundice.

Longer term, about half of people with hepatitis C can experience symptoms such as generally feeling unwell, extreme tiredness, weight loss, intolerance of fatty food, and depression.

The Trust’s report is available here for download as a PDF.

Ecuadorian president, Rafael Correa, announced the appointment of Carina Vance Mafla, who is openly gay, as the newest member of his cabinet.

The American-born activist hit the ground running, with an announcement that the health ministry will be working closely with lesbian rights group Fundacion Causana, and other civil rights groups, to shut down the remaining religious clinics which promise to ‘cure’ lesbians.

Vance has been heavily involved in campaigning towards equal rights, and was previously the Executive Director of Fundacion Causana.

In the past, she called for reforms of the country’s health system, specifically for the closure of the ‘gay cure’ religious clinics, the regulation of HIV treatment distribution, and to put an end to LGBT discrimination within the health system.

A petition run by Change.org calling for the closure of such clinics raised 113,761 signatures, and is being welcomed as a victory. A similar petition on Allout.org currently has 64,650.

The petitions had praised the government for the closure of over 30 clinics, but called for an end to the institutions, which ex-patients reported tortured and abused lesbians both physically and psychologically.

Fundacion Causana, based in Quito, Ecuador, released a statement on the success of the campaign:

“After ten years of outcry, the nation of Ecuador- through the Ministry of Public Health- has entered into a commitment with civic organizations and society in general to deconstruct the belief that homosexuality is an illness and root our the use of torture in these clinics.”

This announcement has also meant further praise for the president Correa, who has been complimented for supporting a pro-LGBT constitution.

The previous health minister, David Chiriboga, resigned this month after failing to reform Ecuador’s failing health service.

The new study, published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, has found that teens raised by lesbian parents report the same levels happiness and quality of life as teens raised by heterosexual parents.

This new research comes just weeks after a campaign in New Hampshire where presidential hopeful Rick Santorum, said gay parents “rob children of something they need, they deserve, they have a right to.”

He called upon research to suggest that teenagers raised by heterosexual parents have a better quality of life than those raised by lesbian parents.

The new study followed 78 17 year olds, who were matched in age, gender, ethnicity and parental education to a sample of teens raised by heterosexual parents.

A co-author of the study, Loes van Gelderen, Msc. wrote: “Consistently, over the past three decades, researchers have found that the daughters and sons of same-sex parents are psychologically well-adjusted. And now our new data demonstrate that 17-year-olds raised from birth by lesbian mothers are as happy as their peers.”

The study not only focusses on quality of life for teenagers with lesbian parents, but also ‘provides insight into positive aspects of mental health of adolescents with lesbian mothers.’

This research is part of a long term study initiated by Nanette Gartrell of the National Lesbian Longitudinal Family Study, the largest and longest-running study of mothers and children in planned lesbian families.

The AIDS Healthcare Foundation, the largest AIDS organisation in the world, had been fighting a battle in Los Angeles for the new regulation.

Rather than put the issue to a ballot, city council leaders voted 9-1 in favour of banning gay and straight ‘bareback’ video shoots in its environs.

Councilman Paul Koretz told the New York Times: “The issue itself is so common sense and intuitive, why put the city through the costs and ordeal when the outcome is really preordained?”

“This is a no-brainer of an issue. It’s not going to cost us very much to enforce — we won’t spend any more money enforcing this than we do any other law. And in this case, if you don’t follow the law, it will be on film.”

Michael Weinstein, the President of AHF, which provides services to more than 150,000 people worldwide, described it as “a great day for the performers and safer sex in our society”.

In a statement he said: “This is the first legislative body to take up the issue, and the near-unanimous support is very gratifying. When push comes to shove, people know this was the right thing to do.”

The only dissenting vote, by Mitchell Englander, was apparently cast for economic rather than ideological reasons.

In October 2010, 24-year-old porn actor Derrick Burts contracted HIV after working on gay and straight adult film sets. He has since called for condoms to be made compulsory across the industry.

According to the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, Los Angeles public health statistics say that workers in the adult film industry are ten times more likely to be infected with a sexually transmitted disease than the general public.

Up to 25 cases of HIV are said to have been found in adult film actors since 2004.

The organisation was formed in Los Angeles in 1987 as the AIDS Hospice Foundation, with the mission to “fight for the living, and care for the dying”.

Though viewed as a public health issue by many, others consider the rule an imposition.

Diane Duke, Chief Executive of the Free Speech Coalition, a trade group for the pornography business, said: “Clearly this is about the government overreaching and intruding into consenting adults’ decisions.

“Our standards and protocols are extremely effective and are working. They are taking something they know nothing about and imposing their morality on our industry.”

Weinstein said: “They cannot just pick up their stakes and move to another state. They’d hardly be welcomed in West Virginia or Utah or Mississippi, or even a place like Nevada, where legal prostitution is highly regulated and condoms are required. And we will follow them wherever they go.”

The AIDS Health Foundation is reportedly considering a similar move in the city of San Francisco, though attempts to convince state legislators to come on board have reportedly failed.

The ordinance will come into effect in 90 days and be enforced by police spot checks, the cost of which will be borne by pornographers.

Many have argued that the current law breaks Article 3 of the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights, which protects “the right to respect for [everyone’s] physical and mental integrity”.

The majority of the Swedish Parliament are reportedly in favour of the change, but the process has been blocked by a small conservative party.

Sirpa Pietikäinen, Finnish centre-right MEP told The European Parliament LGBT Intergroup: “This isn’t about LGBT rights; it’s about human rights and torture, cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment.”

Raül Romeva i Rueda, Green MEP from Spain added: “The government’s decision is rather surprising: forcibly sterilising transgender people is recognised as inhumane across the political spectrum. It’s barbaric, outdated and highly unnecessary—not to mention against Sweden’s human rights commitments.”

At this time, the World Health Organisation classifies gender dysphoria under “mental and behavioural disorders”, a definition the European Parliament have already called to be changed.

As well as mandatory sterilization, the 1972 law also makes divorce compulsory for trans people, which it has been suggested, does not line up with recent “gender neutral” marriage law changes in the country.

Speaking to news agency TT in 2010, Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt described the law as “a dark chapter in Swedish history.”

Other party leaders also supported this suggestion, including Christian Democrat Göran Hägglund.

Jane Fae, feminist writer and campaigner on issues of sexual rights responded today, saying: “It is wholly ironic that Sweden is in the news today over this issue – since the question has surfaced in relation to moves to repeal existing laws in this respect, which would be wholly positive.

“It is to be hoped that the Swedish Prime Minister, Fredrik Reinfeldt, currently in thrall to a small reactionary right-wing party, will pluck up the courage to resist their pressure and allow reform through his parliament.

“However, we should not overlook the fact that despite Human Rights declarations to the contrary, in Europe and elsewhere, the requirement for surgery that effectively sterilises an individual before they can be recognised in their identified gender, is pretty widespread, throughout much of Europe and the United States. Or worse, as in states like Tennessee, gender assertion is not recognised at all, no matter what an individual does.”

Some European countries have already put an end to sterilisation as a prerequisite for recognition, including the UK, Austria, Germany and Portugal, whilst others are soon to follow.

The Nederlands LGBT Equality Policy states that they are currently abolishing the sterilisation requirement, but several other Western countries uphold this law.

France has been at the centre of controversy surrounding this issue, specifically in the case of Delphine Ravisé-Giard, who, despite living as a woman for some years, was told in 2010 that she had to prove that her “change of sex” was “irreversible” before the state would recognize her gender.

Several American states also still have the same law.

A key player in the fight to have these laws changed, Thomas Hammarberg has, in the past, criticized the EU for a general lack of knowledge on these issues.

Hammarberg, the commissioner for Human Rights, wrote in 2009 that “Discrimination against transgender persons must no longer be tolerated” and has criticized the slow move towards the end of transphobia.

There have also been calls from the Swedish Left and Green Parties to review the minimum age for gender reassignment surgery, however this news comes as a blow to those in support of the changes. 

The research also said 10% of gay men would agree to die more than 11 years earlier if they could have their ideal body now.

Nine in ten gay men admit they enforce “unrealistic” images of lean and muscular men in conversation.

In comparison, only a third of straight men said they would give a year or more for an ideal body shape, and 77% admitted buying into the body image ideal.

The research was part of a study commissioned by Central YMCA, the Succeed Foundation and the Centre for Appearance Research at UWE Bristol into how men talk about their bodies.

Gay respondents were consistently more affected by body concerns and more likely to make body comparisons than straight men.

They were also significantly more likely to use what the study authors called “body talk”: speech that implicitly or explicitly reinforces or endorses the traditional western standard of male attractiveness: tall, lean, muscular, toned body with clear skin and a full head of hair.

91.2% of gays said they make statements which reinforce this image, compared with the 77.4% of straight men.

Nearly twice as many gay men as straight, 59% to 32%, said they compare themselves to better-looking men.

A third of gay men said they compared themselves with men they thought were less attractive, compared with 20% of straight men.

Rosi Prescott, CEO of Central YMCA, told PinkNews.co.uk: “This research shows that body image anxiety is sadly much more of an issue for gay men.

“Today gay men are under enormous pressure about their bodies, and we believe that a lack of body diversity in the media, including the gay press, and a relentless focus which values people based on appearance, may in part explain why gay men are particularly susceptible to this issue.

“This is of concern when we know that record numbers of men are taking steroids or having unnecessary cosmetic surgery to achieve what is often an unattainable or unrealistic body image ideal. Central YMCA is campaigning to promote greater body diversity in the media, and for young people to be given an opportunity to learn more about body image in schools.”

Straight men came out narrowly ahead of gays when rating how they important they thought their body was to their partner.

51.4% of straight men said what their partner thought of their shape and weight was “very or extremely important” to them, compared with 49.4% of men.

But only 20% of straight men said their friends’ opinions were that important, versus 35% of gay men.

Dr Phillippa Diedrichs, who conducted the study at UWE Bristol, said, “This research really demonstrates that body image is an issue for everyone, and that we need to take a collaborative approach towards promoting an environment that values diversity in appearance and promotes healthy body image.”

The YMCA’s Body Confidence campaign aims to promote positive body images in schools, at Parliament and through research.

394 men were questioned for the study in November and December 2011.

Onyebuchi Chukwu, launching the 2010 Integrated Biological and Behavioural Surveillance in Abuja, said that HIV prevalence among men who have sex with men has risen to 17.2%, up from 13.5% in 2007, Nigeria’s Daily Trust reports.

But the report says half of the surveyed men who have sex with men also said they have sexual contact with women.

Chukwu said the link between the groups of men who have sex with men and the female population “poses a challenge to the national response to HIV epidemic.”

“If care is not taken, this behaviour may erode the gains we have made in the national response to HIV/AIDS.”

The survey studied some 14,987 people classified in high-risk groups—including female sex workers, men who have sex with men, police and armed forces personnel, transport workers and injecting drug users.

It found the prevalence of HIV among female sex-workers and the armed forces had fallen over the three year period.

Earlier this month, 60,000 people signed a petition calling on the Nigerian president not to increase the penalties for homosexuality, which is illegal in the African country.

Campaigners said the bill, which has been passed by the Senate, further criminalises any public relationship between two people of the same gender by classifying it as a “same-sex marriage”, for which it introduces a punishment of 14 years’ imprisonment.

The group’s board approved an endorsement of the American Psychological Association’s resolution this summer, which gave its unequivocal support to the introduction of equal marriage rights for gay couples on behalf of its 100,000 professional members.

The resolution was based on both the positive effects on mental health which marriage equality has, and the negative effects which result from campaigns to deny couples equal marriage rights.

Professor Simon Crowe, President of the APS, said: “Decades of psychological research provides the evidence linking marriage to mental health benefits, and highlighting the harm to individuals’ mental health of social exclusion.

“The APS supports the full recognition of same-sex relationships, on the basis of this evidence.”

Dr Damien Riggs, convenor of the APS Gay and Lesbian Issues in Psychology Interest Group, said: “Marriage discrimination has a flow-on effect on same-sex attracted Australians, their loved ones, and the wider community. Psychologists must work to ensure that all Australians are supported to achieve positive mental health and full social inclusion.”

In August, the American Psychological Association called on state governments “to repeal all measures that deny same-sex couples the right to civil marriage and to enact laws to provide full marriage equality to same-sex couples”.

Rodney Croome, Australian Marriage Equality’s campaign director, said there was a “mountain of scientific evidence that same-sex partners and their families experience less stigma and stress when they can marry, leading directly to better mental health outcomes”.

He added: “It should be no surprise that those people excluded from marriage simply because of their partner’s gender can experience long-term psychological problems, given that marriage is a key legal and social institution from which many people derive great meaning and purpose in their lives.

“The APS statement sends a clear message to all federal MPs – if you support better mental health outcomes for Australian families then you must support marriage equality.”

Paul Martin, a psychologist from the Centre for Human Potential in Brisbane, said: “The APS statement illustrates what I’ve seen in my practice for over 25 years, namely that legislative discrimination against gays and lesbians fosters the kind of negative stereotypes and prejudice that lead directly to psychological stress and self-loathing”, Mr Martin said.

“The negative impact of legislated inequality is particularly bad when we’re dealing with exclusion from marriage because marriage is all about affirming and strengthening relationships and strong relationships are a key to good mental health outcomes.”

The charity warned that the levels of violence in already abusive relationships can intensify as more time is spent with partners and families during Christmas.

They warn that feelings of despair, isolation, and abuse can increase as people feel the need to try harder for the sake of family celebrations and Christmas spirit.

Rita Hirani, Chief Executive of Broken Rainbow UK, said: “Christmas can be a very difficult time for people in abusive relationships. It is a period when there are further financial pressures, families spend more time together and expectations are high”

The National Broken Rainbow LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline is open to support anyone affected by domestic violence over the Christmas holidays.

The seven tips for Christmas issued by the charity are:

1. If you are in immediate danger call the police on 999
2. Call the National Broken Rainbow LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline on 0300 999 5428 to talk confidentially to another LGBT person who will listen and help you understand your options
3. Email Broken Rainbow UK if you don’t feel like talking over the phone. The email address is help@broken-rainbow.org.uk
4. Talk to a friend. Tell someone what’s going on. It helps to share you problems with someone you can trust
5. Violence is not your fault, no matter what excuses you’re given
6. Plan for your safety – think about the worst-case scenario: if you had to leave in a hurry, what would you take with you? Where can you go to be safe and get help? Remember you can always go to the police for help.
7. Keep your mobile fully charged and handy.

A quarter of LGBT people in the UK experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. The charity urges anyone affected to visit www.broken-rainbow.org.uk for more information.

The report looked at medical data from the year before and the year after Massachusetts introduced equal marriage laws in 2003.

Authors said medical care visits, mental health care visits and mental health care costs all decreased, by 13% for health care visits and 14% for costs.

The study, entitled “Effect of Same-Sex Marriage Laws on Health Care Use and Expenditures in Sexual Minority Men: A Quasi-Natural Experiment,” is published in the American Journal of Public Health.

It found that costs associated with hypertension, depression and adjustment disorders decreased after equal marriage rights were introduced, whether a man had a partner at the time or not.

Author Mark L. Hatzenbuehler, of the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, said: “Our results suggest that removing these barriers improves the health of gay and bisexual men.

“These findings suggest that marriage equality may produce broad public health benefits by reducing the occurrence of stress-related health conditions in gay and bisexual men.”

The study examined 1,211 male patients from a large, community-based health clinic in Massachusetts. It said lesbians were not included because of the small initial sample size.

Paul Krampah, a Public Relations Officer, said his department’s HIV/AIDS Secretariat had been training teachers to educate students on the spread of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

The Mail says calls had been made to better equip students with knowledge about the health risks involved in a sexually active lifestyle.

Mr Krampah’s statement appears to imply that by outlining the risks of sexual activity, the programme will stop young people being gay.

He said: “We are very optimistic that things will change and the incidence of homosexuality in the country will be a thing of the past.”

LGBT Asylum News points out that the Deputy Director General of the country’s Education Service said in an interview this year that homosexuality “started with single-sex schools”.

He added: “It has become prevalent and so more people have become aware of it. This is just one of the many problems we have in our educational system.”

This summer, a minister in Ghana reportedly ordered the arrest of all gays and lesbians in the country’s Western Region.

Paul Evans Aidoo also called on landlords and tenants to inform on those they believe to be gay.

According to Ghanaian news reports, he said: “All efforts are being made to get rid of these people in the society.”

In November, the country’s president, John Atta Mills, said he would “never support” the decriminalisation of homosexuality in the country, following the UK Government’s announcement on the redirection of aid.

467 tests were taken in the joint record attempt by 56 Dean Street clinic and G-A-Y, at the G-A-Y Bar on Old Compton Street.

Nearly £13,000 was raised through the attempt for the Elton John AIDS Foundation, with a donation of £10,000 from G-A-Y and £2,823 given by people attending the event.

Dr Alan McOwan, Lead Consultant at 56 Dean Street said: “By organising this event, 56 Dean Street and G-A-Y have taken a proactive stance in the battle against HIV.

“World AIDS Day provided us with a fantastic platform to build on the message of awareness and education. This has been a truly worthwhile event and I would like to thank all involved for making the day so successful.” ­­

The rapid HIV test used during the event can give a result within 60 seconds. It checks for the immune system’s reaction in a small amount of blood drawn by “pricking” the fingertip.

It can detect most infections 6 weeks after exposure to HIV.

Enrique Ona said parents “should rein in their homosexual children and get them tested”.

He made the remark during a speech on voluntary testing for high risk demographics.

Marlon Lacsamana, the founder of the Philippines LGBT Hate Crime Watch told Samar News: “Bigots do not deserve high government posts, and more so he should not serve as a chair of the Philippine National AIDS Council if we do not want his unscientific biases to taint the good work of our unsung AIDS preventions heroes nationwide.”

Oscar Atadero, human rights officer of the Progressive Organization of Gays in the Philippines (ProGay) objected to Ona’s comments following World AIDS Day last week, with its theme of “Getting to Zero”.

He said: “Instead of achieving zero deaths, suggesting that gays, bisexuals and transgenders get tested en masse will achieve zero access, zero treatment and zero saved lives.

“It feels like gays, bisexuals and transgender being given a marching order to file into gas ovens in Europe during the time of Hitler”.

Last year, a gay political party was allowed to form in the Philippines for the first time.

A court said: “We hold that moral disapproval, without more, is not a sufficient governmental interest to justify exclusion of homosexuals from participation in the party-list system.

“The denial of Ang Ladlad’s registration on purely moral grounds amounts more to a statement of dislike and disapproval of homosexuals, rather than a tool to further any substantial public interest.”

While being gay is not criminalised in Philippines, sexual conduct or affection that occurs in public may be subject to the country’s “grave scandal” laws.

We give priority to working with young people under 25, and are the only charity actively working to promote good sexual health and educating to raise awareness of sexual health within the Jewish community.

But while the charity is as old as World AIDS Day, rather than flourishing, it is under threat.

Our statutory funding, 25% of our annual budget, was stopped earlier this year. Individual donations are down 65%.

The need for the work is no less and yet it seems without the authentication of the statutory funding, Jewish schools and other organisations do not feel there is a need.

It is a similar situation to the uproar around the programme to protect women from HPV, the most common cause of cervical cancer – the community says it doesn’t want or need vaccination. The unreasonable belief that everyone is safe if they lead a religiously observant life is, at the least, naive and at worst dangerous and irresponsible.

This current Government has no intention of making Sex and Relationships Education compulsory and it is still unclear what they intend to do with Personal, Social, Health and Economic Education – without it we face a future where young people are driven by myth and confusion and not able to make safe and informed choices about their personal relationships.

Sexual health, especially aspects of sexuality and sexual orientation, is rarely addressed within faith communities and is often seen as taboo. There is a default position of denial and many parents believe that maintaining children’s (and their own) ignorance will preserve innocence.

Organisations like JAT are often the place where clients feel that they can receive additional bespoke support which meets their specific faith/family/spiritual needs – a place of acceptance and absence of discrimination or judgement.

The charity continues to educate on sexual health and relationships across the Jewish community and is now in partnership with other faith charities such as London Ecumenical AIDS Trust and with Naz Project London, sharing good practice and training health and education professionals to respond to faith needs in their work.

JAT’s mission is to ensure that the Jewish community has support to maintain well-being and high quality education about sexual health; thus enabling all members of the community to make safe and informed decisions.

Without JAT and organisations like it, people living with HIV will become more isolated and vulnerable and preventative approaches and education will not be prioritised.

May this World AIDS Day 2011 raise awareness but also galvanise those who care, into action.

Chazak – Be Strong!

Janine Clements is the Director of Jewish Action and Training for sexual heath. She is on the Advisory Group of the Sex Education Forum.

34% of men and 26% of women believe they do not know enough about the virus in answers to questions posed online by Durex.

The survey also demonstrates a high proportion of people not using condoms or taking other recommended measures to protect themselves.

Half of the respondents admitted not using a condom when they lost their virginity. 15% said they were in casual relationships at the time.

One in seven respondents said they did not know if their partner had ever had a sexually transmitted infection.

This week, the Health Protection Agency released its 2010 figures showing a record number of new HIV infections.

The National AIDS Trust say the results echo findings of a recent Ipsos MORI research which showed public knowledge about HIV was in decline.

Durex and NAT have created two new web resources for World AIDS Day to provide information on the subject.

NAT has produced content for the Durex-designed site, HIV Aware.

Deborah Jack, Chief Executive of NAT said: “This website is designed to help people find out everything they should know about HIV.

“One problem we have found with other websites is that they are not updated very regularly and often include incomplete, out of date or inaccurate information.

“We have committed to ensure that all of the information on HIVaware is kept completely up to date so people can visit the site and be confident that they are getting the latest, reliable information.”

The second resource is aimed at healthcare professionals and is to be launched during World AIDS Day.

Visitors to the DurexHCP website’s new HIV section will be able to find out information about HIV diagnosis and treatment as well as social and work-related issues that could arise.

A key element of the section is an educational resource that means doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals can test and improve their knowledge about the condition.

Charles Shepherd, head of health promotion for Durex, said: “It is important that correct information about HIV is available to the public and healthcare professionals to ensure that people are kept informed and able to protect themselves.

“These two web resources should help to ensure that the general public and healthcare professionals alike can access information knowing that it has been produced by NAT and is therefore reliable and up to date.”

1016 people were questioned in the UK as part of an international online survey.

The government’s HIV strategy is flawed and failing.

London HIV clinics are under pressure to prescribe cheaper HIV drugs, which may not be as effective and may have more severe side effects. This could put at risk the health of some people with HIV. It is evidence of the potentially damaging consequences of public spending cuts and pressure on NHS finances.

The closure or merger of some local and regional HIV services means that many people with HIV now have to travel longer distances to access good quality care and support. The time and cost involved can act as a disincentive to engagement with HIV services.

HIV education is woefully inadequate in most schools. Teaching pupils how to roll a condom on a banana is not good enough.

Very few students learn how to negotiate safer sex and what to do if a partner refuses to wear a condom. There is no popularisation of less risky alternatives to intercourse, such as oral sex, body rubbing and mutual masturbation. These alternatives should be explained in all secondary schools.

What safer sex information is taught in schools is wholly oriented to heterosexual pupils. Gay and bisexual students get no specific advice on how to have gay sex safely.

Many faith schools and independent schools are getting away with neglecting their pupil’s HIV education. They put their own dogmas and embarrassment about sexual matters before the health and welfare of young people.

Frank, detailed and effective HIV awareness and prevention education should be mandatory in all schools from primary level onwards, before pupils become sexually active and adopt unsafe sexual habits.

The needs of gay and bisexual men continue to be under-resourced. HIV prevention campaigns targeted at men who have sex with men are not working, as evidenced by the high number of new HIV infections.

Having won so many gains in terms of legal rights and social acceptance, we need to ensure that we remain healthy to enjoy the benefits of equality. We may have to rethink some HIV prevention advertising campaigns to make them more hard-hitting and impactive. The level of new infections in our community needs to be cut very significantly.

Access to effective HIV prevention information and to high quality HIV health-care are human rights. They should be available to all.

While 20% of respondents also said their parents would not want them to tell anyone else if they were living with HIV, 69% said they believed their parents would love them either way.

Alyson Lewis, the British Red Cross lead on HIV said: “It’s heartbreaking to think that young people could feel so scared about people’s reactions to HIV that they couldn’t even tell their parents.

“It’s vitally important that we break this stigma and that people are able to feel that their friends and families would be there for them.”

Nearly a quarter of girls (23%) feared their parents’ reaction, compared with 16% of boys.

51% of those questioned said their parents would respect their needs.

The organisation has released a video for World AIDS Day challenging viewers’ reactions to HIV.

Musician Annie Lennox, comedian Stephen K. Amos, T4’s Georgie Okell and former Eastenders actor Chris Parker talk about times their friends have supported them, and ask the viewer if they would support a friend who was diagnosed with HIV.

1,500 11 to 24 year olds were interviewed by polling agency ResearchBods.

The World AIDS Day overarching theme is ‘Getting to Zero’.

But BME people are still disproportionately affected by late HIV diagnosis.

According to the latest Health Protection Agency data published this week, 57% of all late HIV diagnoses are amongst Black & Minority Ethnic Communities.

People diagnosed late have a tenfold increased risk of dying within a year of diagnosis compared to those diagnosed promptly.

Of the 680 people with HIV who died, two thirds had been diagnosed late.

A total of 6,658 persons (4,510 men and 2,147 women) were diagnosed with HIV in 2010. An estimated 3,000 new diagnoses were made amongst men who have sex with men, the highest number since records began.

And yet we’ve seen 43% cut in funding for HIV prevention work and, worse still, essential services disappearing just at a time when front line services are needed most.

These are sobering figures when we are trying to ‘get to zero’. If we are really serious about tackling late diagnosis then we need to stop dismantling frontline infrastructure and invest in long term sustainability.

We need far more community based early testing campaigns with peer support strategies. And we urgently need to address the alarming fact that, 30 years on, the UK epidemic is still marked by inequality: its defining characteristics are sexual orientation and race.

Bryan Teixeira is the Chief Executive of Naz Project London. The Naz Project is the leading BME Sexual Health Charity in the UK.